Why Avoiding Budgets Can Lead to Missing Out

 Welcome to the episode. So you feel like budgeting is going to be too restrictive. So you avoid it just like my client was. And after she chose to work with me, she shared that. She says, I don't want to You know, miss out on the fun that we have as a family and do all the fun things. I said, okay, we can definitely do that. If you know me, I believe there should be an element of fun in every budget. My client who came to me in debt so far that he was living on debt each and every month, we really had to structure his budget. If you know me, if you've heard me before, I don't like to cut and get rid of stuff on an initial visit. His situation did not allow for that. So with that, I made sure I kept my belief as a coach that every budget should have an element of fun. Doing so and doing so for him keeps you consistent, keeps you motivated, keeps you sustainable. He Had a very, very scaled back budget, but it met all of his debt payments and did not accumulate debt for three months because we were able to keep the element of fun that supported him in more ways than one. It physically, emotionally, and mentally supported him. So I believe that is most important. So number one with working with me, you won't miss out on the fun. As I promised my client, nope, we will keep the fun if that's what you truly want to spend your money on. If you remember, as she worked with me and we explored her spending through many different value exercises that I do in my signature program, she wasn't honoring her true financial priorities. This was happening because she was not budgeting, because she was not keeping track of where she was really spending her money. She just didn't want to be restricted, she didn't want to be strapped down, and she wanted to just have fun when she could. But she was honestly missing out on serving herself, serving her family, and really creating who she wanted to be with money. Your fear prevents you from enjoying your desires. And that fear is holding you back from discovering who you are and learning to enjoy your money. I get in a lot of situations with clients where I question if they are enjoying their money. I have not really had anybody who has enjoyed it too much. And really finding that balance is key. And I believe that budgets help us, and then doing other exercises like that value, those value exercises will help you explore and build a budget, build your spending habits for who you truly are. Your fear that budgets are restrictive, you avoid money. Your fear that budgets are restrictive, and the fact is you're avoiding budgeting. Or you're using the check my bank account method instead, which is what my client was doing is a belief that is coming from using other templates and using other methods that aren't allowing you to fully embrace who you are. We download these templates, they're spelled out. We fill in the blanks and we feel lackluster about it. We don't get excited. We don't see ourselves in them because they don't allow you to expand and grow. And there's no guidance in how to refine and You know, with use, better who you are, discover your happiness, you know, really get in there and make that budget reflect who you are. If I see a budget, I want to know in that budget who you are. And if I look at it and I'm saying, these are the things, this is what you like, this is what you don't like, this is what you love to do, or this is, you know, your motto, values, all of those things. That needs to be accurate. It doesn't, it doesn't need to be a copycat template from somewhere else. The fact that you keep telling yourself it won't be fun is already causing you to be in that state. My client was already there. She's like, oh, I'm having fun. And then when we actually put it to the test, she wasn't. But not having that budget, she stressed, she worried, she panicked every time she got a bill that increased. And that just, that was fun. She didn't want to lose that. Is that what you're telling yourself? So as I said, when I work with clients and that initial budget, we build that budget to be exactly what you're doing with money. Okay, exactness might be a little extreme because if you haven't been in the weeds or working with your money, guesstimating is not, you know, is close. It's at least what you know, because I don't think we forget. Where we think we are truly enjoying our money. So building that initial budget, not making any changes from the initial state, except for my client who came to me accruing debt every month, I don't want to perpetuate that problem that takes harder action. But with all my other clients, we built the budget as who they are. This supports clarity. This helps them see what they are doing with their money. where it is going, you know, who they are in this moment. And then as they begin spending, as you use this budget, they're exploring and doing, and they're a lot more aware. In the last episode, we talked about my client who became more aware of every little purchase in just such a short amount of time. As you begin to use this initial budget, you really start focusing on, Oh gosh, I'm really doing that? Or, Oh man, I really wish I was doing more of this. It can work either way. So my client, who didn't want to miss out on the fun, as we worked through the Signature Program, worked through all of the different values exercises that I talked about, she gave me the following statement. I absolutely loved auditing my bills and spending using a values alignment tool that Dalene did with me. It was so empowering to see the alignment. This is one of two value exercises we do inside of my signature program. And it was with those exercises that she realized what was lacking. what she thought she was doing and wasn't actually doing. I love to call this portion of the program exploring your spending safely. So as we go from the initial budget, we put it into plan with all of our action steps and then we start exploring with different exercises, setting goals, you know, defining what our purpose is, you know, looking at our values and what we want from life. We really start exploring our spending. This is where we make shifts. This is where we make changes. This is where we create a budget that reflects who we are. It is not a generic template. It's not a standard fill in the blank. I love to call it, exploring your spending safely because why should you feel bad about where you like to spend your money? everybody has different desires. Everybody loves to spend their money somewhere little more fluffy than what, you know, and I'm sorry, but the group gurus, if you followed all of their advice, you would sit in a corner and do absolutely nothing. So exploring your spending safely through all of these exercises really helps you start seeing your money with a different lens. You start learning. And spending to support who you truly want to be, where you get enjoyment from. I have a brother in law who loves brand new cars. He does not drive them past a hundred thousand miles. He's buying him a new one. I'm complete opposite. I buy, you know, between 50, miles and I drive it till it's giving me too many problems. So, that's him. That's me. We're both okay with money. You know, I had to laugh because he was using his son's Netflix and his son said, he goes, I don't pay for that. I don't pay for that. I don't pay for that. And so really getting clear on where you like to spend your money. It doesn't matter. I was on a call with somebody about a month ago. They choose to lease their car. That is okay if it works for them. You can hear all of the rules or all of the suggestions or all of this but really it comes down to who you are and what you truly value and desire. We continue to believe spending is bad because that's what we hear. Don't stop at the coffee shop on your way to work. You will never be able to retire. Seriously. I kind of have to laugh at that. You know, you can put whatever piece of information you have heard in there. What do you need to do differently? You need to start believing that spending your money, you need to spend it for now and the future. Yes, life is short. However, life is long. We can't ignore that fact. I have an aunt and an uncle who are pushing a hundred. They are living in their house by themselves. They are fine. That is a very, very long life. They've been retired for years. In fact, I have to laugh because my uncle had to go into the credit union to have a paper notarized saying he was still alive so he could still get his pension. You know, it just doesn't happen a lot, but it does happen. Really start thinking about spending, serving you now and in the future. Remembering that spending also includes savings. Our savings is just a paused for a future expense. You keep trying to use budget templates, general suggestions, general rules, and that's a great place to start. When you fill those in, then you have to start diving into how to make that you, just because somebody says this is how you should do it. Isn't how you want to do it and money should be easy. It shouldn't be hateful. Budgeting shouldn't be hateful. It should be empowering. It should be creating the life that you want. I am very passionate about budgeting. I have had so many points on my journey that it has quote, saved me empowered me. It just becomes an element of success for me. And it took a while to get there. I didn't just start out one day and be like, yep, I'm going to budget and it's going to be great. Lots of ups and downs, lots of hiccups, lots of refining, lots of frustrating moments and trying to figure out how to make those frustrations go away. Once you reach that frustration point with your money, with your budgeting, You have to pause because you can't do it in that heated emotion, but you can't pause for very long because memories can be short, especially if something that wasn't fun. But coming back to it and realize what's wrong. I love hearing the statement of, I was using a budget and I was doing great, then I got this bill out of nowhere and now I'm over budget so what do I even do? Thinking about that, you got that bill you forgot about. That's where you need to fix the problem. Talked about that in last episode about looking ahead, planning ahead, but then tying that together with enjoyment, learning to be content. With where you spend your money, especially so when somebody says to you, you spend your money on that, you can 100 percent say yes, and you know what? It doesn't matter. Getting to that point is very freeing, is very important. I think that's just like life, right? Getting to the point that we don't care, and that's where we also need to get to with money. It's not caring what other people see or think we do with money, but doing what comes into alignment with who and what we are. To find enjoyment in budgeting, how do you do that? Learn who you are with money. Learn what is most important to you. Build the budget around those things. We have commitments. We have things we've signed up for. We have bills. But beyond that. Be sure that you're spending where you want it. How do you want it to support you? As I was on my journey, I had a short term goal and a long term goal. Once I got so focused on those, I had no more FOMO. I could have cared less what the biggest craze was, what the newest, you know, little item was to buy. I could care less because I had my goals. I was focused. And I have my element of fun in my budget. If you know me, you know that's my books. And really getting to know yourself in that intimate way with money comes from starting to explore your values. What you believe, who you want to be, how you want to be. You know, there's people with a motto that they'd rather have experiences over material things. That right there is a value. That right there. If that is you, and I look at your budget, I'm going yes or no. I can see that, or I can't see that. Really find the enjoyment by building the budget to be more in line with you. If you are using those templates. Start there. That's a great place to start, but really start refining it into who you are, what you want to do. Exploring your spending safely is so important to me that every client experiences this in the very first session. We talk about it. I share about why they answered these questions on the questionnaire and get them thinking. Get them to stop thinking that spending is bad. I know when they fill out that questionnaire, they think, okay, that's when she's gonna have me cut. And it is not. But it really opens up your eyes. It really helps you begin seeing how your spending is creating the life that you want., Like I said, my journey has had many powerful budgeting moments. That's why I have the passion and I would love to share it with you. I would love to support you in at least one of my programs. I have a financial foundation intensive, which is just a 90 minute giving you clarity, exposure to your money, helping you build that simple budget. I have a 60 day, which is six sessions. I have a three month and I have six month. All of those work through in exploring who you are, building systems that work, creating a new relationship with money. And that's the biggest key. I have a really wonderful connection with a trauma healer and she is getting her master's right now. I admire the work she does, the knowledge that she has. And she says, honestly, people just need to see they've got to create a relationship with money. Don't hate it because of things you're missing out on. Don't hate it because of the way you were brought up. You know, start exploring who you are. Start making that change. I'd love to have you jump on a free call, explore those programs with me and help you find the next step. The next right step into coming into alignment with your money. Thanks for listening.