How My Client Found Spending Freedom to Support Her Financial Freedom

Welcome to the episode. I'm excited to share with you the story of my client going through her struggles, her challenges, and I'm sure you can identify a little bit with her or in some way, shape, or form and what it looked like when we worked together, the process I took her through, and then the transformation she saw, the changes she saw in her budgeting in her management of her money. And in her. Thinking her mindset. So, this client, we first met on a complimentary call. Just like everyone, that's where we jump on and I can learn about you, learn about what your challenges are, and really explore if this is going to be a good relationship. on that call, my biggest takeaway on that complimentary call was her. Shame and guilt she found around her spending, that it was heavy and every other comment, every other story was all about, you know, I, I spend too much and I need you to tell me not to spend that much. And, you know, spending this, spending that. And, you know, she, she then went into, and when I pay my monthly credit card bill, I think, holy cow, that's a big number. And she just was going on and on. And I just. Oh, I was like, I've got to fix this for her, but I can't fix. What I don't know is actually broken. Yes, she has shame and guilt around her spending, but until we can define that, that's not something I can fix. So really filling that heaviness, I was like, okay, we've got to learn a little bit more. So I always check in with, you know, these individuals on the free call. What are you doing to budget right now? Or what have you done? What worked? You know, what didn't work? I'd love to learn that, to be able to lean in more quickly about what it would look like to go through my process. And this client had done some budgeting, she'd created her spreadsheet, life happens, we don't follow through. She had used a budget app, used it for a little while, it wasn't beneficial, wasn't supporting her in, in the needs she had at the time. At the moment, she wasn't really doing anything. She was meeting all of her applications, paying all of her bills, able to pay off the credit card. But there was still so much heaviness and guilt and shame around her spending. And she's like, I don't know that I really spend a whole lot. But I might, like we have a lot, you know, we live a good life, but maybe I'm spending, you know, just trying to drum up this story for me. And she says, I need you to tell if I'm spending too much. Well, as a coach, financial coach, that is not what I will do. I will not tell somebody they need to reduce or cut in certain areas. There is a so much better way to help support you on refining your spending on getting in alignment with your spending. We're going to cover that through this transformation of my client. She was also very worried and fearful about outspending her nest egg. In a prior career, she was making really good money. She was able to, you know, be diligent and stick money away for retirement. She had built that up. She'd worked with a financial advisor. He says, yes, you have more than enough. But for her, that didn't give her the confidence she needed. She still had a lot of anxiety. Most of us do about retirement, you know, are you going to run out of money in retirement? She had tied hers specifically to spending. Am I going to outspend? I really got to, she's like, I got to fix this. You know, so, so much stress, so much worry, so much anxiety, even though she's meeting these obligations. Life does not have to be. you know, to where you're not making ends meet to get some help. I shared with her all about my program how it would work, what it would look like. And so we began working together. I always, and I am sure you've heard this before, if you've been a listener for a while, the very first session, which had prep work prior to the session, we create a budget. The budget is created around What you're doing. We did that with her. We created a budget around all the things she was doing, all of the things that she was worried about spending too much. We really started creating that and then tying that to a cashflow system, meaning a money management system. That's going to support where her money's coming in, where it's going out, how she can keep tabs on the different categories without. sitting down at that spreadsheet and typing everything in there to make sure she's not overspending. Because at the point you're typing it in, you've already overspent. There's nothing to help keep you in the moment on tabs. So got those set up just like I do with every client right now. Not every cash flow system is set up the same way but we do create one that is going to help manage your money. It's going to support you in being able to see the things you need to see. I'll dive into that in just a little bit. We've got that all set and running, and get We haven't touched her shame and our guilt around spending yet. We have not changed anything about her spending. She's done all of the exercises every other client does up until this point. So we're about session three, session four, if I recall, and things are flowing. She says, yep, I've got it. It's working out for me. It's doing good. And I said, okay, it's time to touch on your shame and guilt around spending as she's like, okay. And if you've been a listener for a while, you've heard me talk about the values based. spending exercise. It's also values based budgeting. It works on both sides. We worked through that exercise during that session. We explore many different values. You're able to then take them down to, so this is life values. This is not money values. This is life values. So able to define down to her top three, able to define what those values mean to her. Because those mean different, you know, they're different words different things that are on there, but people define them differently. But it is so crucial that you do define that so that you're able to explore who you are with money and how it's going to support you. I just want to read a part of a message she sent me. Dear Darlene, I was thinking about our values spending discussion this morning and I just wanted you to know that was so very impactful on me and I remember at the end of that session seeing almost a release, almost, you know, like, okay, lightened up, she's getting rid of some of the shame and the guilt and, you know, granted we had just introduced it, she still needed to go out and spend money, do all of the practical things to move forward. And so as she did, she comes back several sessions later and she says, Oh my gosh, this is so good. I am actually using these values. at the point of purchase. So she'd gotten so intentional with her spending that she would think at the moment, whether it was an online purchase or in person purchase and grabbing it off the shelf and thinking, does this fit my values? And how powerful that can be. There's no judgment in it there's an evaluation. That's what she was missing. Going back to that shame and that guilt, she's able to meet that credit card bill. There's no like, Oh, I don't have the money. What am I going to have to pay or not pay? I've, you know, what obligations or we're not gonna have to, you know, eat for a while. Or she was not one of those, but there was a lot of shame and guilt. And so now taking the evaluation part clear back to this, to the actual purchase, how connected is she to her money? How connected? She had a disconnect before because it was just a number. There was no. tying it to how it was helping her, how it was supporting her. The other thing we did when I've discussed before payday moves and a money routine, paying that credit card weekly. Waiting for that monthly bill, if all your bills are going on it, all your spending is going on it, it can be a large amount. And honestly, you can go, wow, that's a lot of money. If you can scale back and pay that weekly. You can remember more than likely the last seven days. Plus you can scroll through and see what purchases on there go. Yep. Okay, good. Yep. Oh, I remember that, you're building this new connect. She had done that as well. She had done the show. She'd started doing that as part of her. Being able to check in with her money. That was another request when we first started working together. She says, I know I need to spend time with my money and see, you know, look at it, not just document it, not just log it, but I don't know what I'm looking for. This is a skill I probably don't realize as often that is something that's learned. It's not just something that happens. And some of us are more analytical and logical and it just comes naturally and other people are not. And I think I forget that, but being able to create the system and to separate it initially, now you only have a couple of things to look at. And using those You know, payday moves in that money routine. You can spend a little bit of time in reflecting and looking at what that's going for. You know, our, our spending of our groceries and our fuel and our eating out like that, that happens and it should again, spending is neither good nor bad. And so telling my client that was also another release for her to be able to realize that we do have to spend money. But then being able to give her the values to tie it to gave her a little more evaluation. Again, no judgment, no judgment. She was able to release a lot of the guilt and the shame and the doubt. And was able to empower herself in making financial decisions. From that small purchase to that large purchase, she became very empowered. She brought in that intentionality to the point of the purchase. That's not something I asked her to do, but it naturally happens. This is how we are able to bring our spending into alignment with our goals, with our values, is we bring it to the point of purchase. And it just doesn't You can't just go out and do that. It's, it's part of a process. It's part of putting the organization together. We simplified her cash flow. We didn't give her just a spreadsheet that she was going to have to log everything into. She's very busy. She's got young kids. She's doing a new job. There's a lot going on in life. We all have that. We all have that. And so being able to Simplify where your money is going and where it's then going to be spent so you can keep an eye on it for both immediate and future goals is crucial. That was another area that my client needed support on. Remember, she has saved her nest egg. She's saved enough for retirement, but she was also lacking some stability savings accounts, like the sinking funds, the emergency fund. When she came to me, that's the word she used. And if you've been here a while, I don't like just that term. Although that's what it is. That's what I teach. We build it out bigger and better. And so she's like, I need to really get more on that. She had an emergency fund. She had an amount and she had ideas for what she. needed to do, wanted to do, you know, she owned her own home and there was some things, some improvements and stuff on her list, but she really wasn't doing anything because she had this lump sum there. Being able to help her define what those things were. So example, she needed to do a home remodel project, was on her list with several other things, including vacations and travels and, you know, all of those wonderful things. And. And so learning to prioritize and then define that lump sum of your emergency fund to individually those projects and priorities is so empowering. She was able to start that home project while we were working together. You know, she had had the money for a while, but she just was not comfortable with her spending to be able to spend out of this emergency fund. Emergency fund, savings goals fund sinking funds, all of the things. Like you need to have financial stability for the immediate needs, not just retirement. So that was also lacking. Being able to Help her define that and then to take action. She was so excited, so elated. She knew the process of how to reach out, who to reach out to, what steps to take. And sometimes that's, you know, that's a problem too, but she was able to do that because she felt empowered and okay to actually take that next step. So the message that she sent me, I want to read it in its entirety. And mind you, we were only about just about. About past halfway through and so again, she says, I was thinking about our values spending discussion this morning and just wanted you to know that was so very impactful on me and your PAM. So that's the plan ahead method I use is exactly what I needed. Truly grateful that you are coaching me despite knowing the money is there and I have done all the things to build the nest egg. I was really lacking the tools and insight on how to manage it and had lots of fears and worries about it. I am feeling more at ease and quite excited about what the future holds. Such a change, such a change from the individual who was beating herself up about every single purchase. You know, it just, ah, it was, it's so nice to actually help her release that guilt and that shame to help her find the empowered side of her with money to be able to complete that home project. I think it's completed now. It was, it was not a, it was huge, but not that huge. And she had the money and being able to see that was so amazing. And I loved that. I loved that for her. If you are feeling any shame or guilt or doubts around your money, your spending, I want you to take this step. This is an action step for you to apply. I want you to create a budget. I'm not asking you to track against it. I just want you to create a budget. And then I want you to find a way to connect with your money daily. This can be as simple as opening up your bank account. Or looking at your credit card daily. Connect with your money daily. What action step can that be for you? To start removing the disconnect that we get so very easily with our money. And secondly, if you are a person who is using a credit card for rewards, not racking up debt, and you're only paying it off once a month, And you do have some shame and guilt around that, I want you to start paying that balance weekly. I want you to jump in, this can be your check in, this can be your connecting with your money daily. I want you to jump in, look at it, make note of it, get that payment done. Really connect with your money and start connecting with those purchases you made. Slowly, slowly, that will increase to where it's a very empowered state of connection. If you are doing, or have done, or maybe think those two steps won't work, and you have feelings of shame or guilt or doubt around your money, schedule your complimentary call today. Let's chat. Let's chat. What I have learned through doing these calls with all of my, you know, pre clients, clients, anybody. Most individuals have some sort of idea what their big elephant is the elephant in the room, the thing that's causing their problem. Now, it's not, maybe not the problem to solve, just like my client with the shame and the guilt, there were some other things we needed to solve first. But jump on that call. Share with me all your thoughts. Your challenges, your hurdles, usually you can just outright tell me what the big elephant is, and I would love to help you figure out what that step is to get you moving ahead. And I will also share with you what it would look like to work together. There's no obligation. There is no obligation, but it'll help you connect with your money. Talking about it. Talking about our money is difficult and hard. And I, I understand that, but hopefully you can take this as an opportunity to maybe rip that bandaid off and just talk about it and let me give you an action step, go run with it. I had a. Which is probably a first, but gave her an action step and she's like, I'm going to go run with it and I will get back with you after the first of the year. But me saying that, and I already shared it with her. I just want to say that I am very transparent. My prices will be rising January, 2025. The other advantage to booking this call now before December 31st, 2024. Get it booked. It's 30 minutes. You've got time. Even with the holidays, you've got a half hour in there. You will be able to take advantage of 2024 pricing until January 15th. Schedule that call to just learn more. Explore, especially if you've been on the fence about it. Especially if you're like, I really don't know what my problem is. I can guarantee you, you probably do know what your problem is. I hope you learned something from it. I hope you will be able to take those action steps and implement them in your life and be able to start finding, you know, empowerment, start finding a connection with your money. Thank you for tuning in and we'll see you next week.