Why Do You Fear Retirement? The Answer Might Surprise You
Retirement Fear Isn’t Really About Retirement
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Are you laying awake at night worried about making retirement happen? You're afraid to even mention it to your spouse, and you honestly don't know what to do next. If that is you, this episode is going to help you begin to alleviate that retirement fear that you're experiencing and begin taking action, this is an action episode, that will help build your confidence. So the fear that you have about retirement isn't because you fear retirement itself, it's that you don't have any anchors, something to ground you, something to help your mind know what is going on. So you don't have an anchor to your future, and you don't have an anchor to your current expenses, which you're thinking, "What does that matter?" That is what we're discussing in this episode. With those anchors missing, when you try to think about retirement and making it happen, the fear just gets louder because you have nothing to hold onto. The greatest anchor that you can create now is what does your current life actually cost, I've talked about this before in some other episodes about the cost of your reality. But you're not understanding what your budget is and so what your overall expenses are. You don't feel in control, and without that, you might be assuming a number when I tell you how to calculate what you need for retirement. There is no anchor to make that number anchored in. So most people who are, not tracking or really relying on an app or something, you aren't struggling. You've been paying your bills on time. You're handling unexpected expenses without too big of a crisis. Now, we still need to address that. But you're also not struggling with debt, so there has never been a big need in your mind to, number one, have a budget, and number two, to track, because you're fine, until you try to think about retirement So with this fear, you're trying to solve a problem because that's what, people like you do, and so you're consuming information that is creating a bigger fear. In trying to solve your challenge, trying to solve this, "I'm not sure what to do," you are creating a bigger fear. And maybe, just maybe, you're like, "Okay, I'm gonna download a budget template," or, "I'm gonna try a new app," but really, lo- the more you think about it, you have no desire to actually use those tools because you don't feel like you're struggling that's the gap. That's the struggle in your mind. You're like I don't need to budget and track because I'm fine, but I do need to get to retirement." Understanding how those templates and/or apps, it doesn't matter what you use, provide what you need to get to retirement is what you're missing, and that's why you're not connecting, and that truly is knowing your total monthly cost of life. Now, I add the of life, and I've talked about all of those irregular expenses, but if you're wondering how do I calculate my retirement number?" Head over to episode 190, How to Calculate What You Need for Retirement, and I walk you right through that. But keep listening to this episode, 'cause you're going to want to understand, maybe why you need to calculate these things or track these certain things. Because what is keeping you stuck is you're like I don't need to budget because I'm actually fine," right? "I'm not behind on bills. I have enough money. I'm saving for retirement," ? All of these things, but what you're missing is that a budget isn't just for people who are struggling. A budget is actually a plan that helps you know your numbers, and helps you set out where you're going and how to get there. Budgets are huge. I call them a budget outline inside my program, and I do this very first step. We just make an outline of what is going on, and we figure it out from there. So you're worried about whether you're going to have enough for retirement, maybe you're saving, "Oh, if I'm saving enough, am I gonna have enough? How much do I need?" But you've never tracked your expenses because you use the bank account method, you look at your expenses. You're not overspending. You get to the next paycheck. Again, like I said, you're saving for retirement and you feel like tracking today's expenses don't support me in reaching retirement." And I get that. I was also doing the same thing, using the bank account method, which I've talked about before- But when I got onto my retirement journey and I started budgeting and tracking in a way that worked for me, that is crucial, but prior to that, I couldn't see that I really could increase my retirement savings very easily. If you remember and listened to my fir- my story, I shared how many times I would go in and I would reduce those down because I wasn't tracking them. I wasn't tracking my expenses. I wasn't being in tune with actually where my money was going. I couldn't see that if I shifted one or two expenses, I'd actually pay off my debt faster, and I could actually increase my retirement, that I wouldn't have to pull back, so if you're thinking, "This doesn't apply to me because I'm doing okay," I am not gonna argue that you're doing okay. I was as well. But here's what I want you to hear: what doesn't get measured doesn't get managed. Now, I know that's used in the corporate world, and you probably cringed if you worked there, but it's very true. Not knowing the specifics of your numbers means you can't make any changes to head yourself in the right direction, to anchor yourself, there is nothing to really anchor and head you in that right direction. So if you're dropping something out of the air without any controls, it just, is You're dropping it and hoping it lands in the right spot. It more than likely is not going to, maybe one out of, I don't know, 50 times. Depends on what you're throwing down. But if you actually give it wings and a motor, i.e. some guidance, you have a lot more control, and you'll more than likely land exactly where you intended, can be a little bit before, a little bit after, but really thinking about, "How can I anchor myself with this to give me the control and get rid of that fear in my head?" So I know many individuals, they think that tracking equals restriction with your spending. And I want you to know tracking your numbers does not equal you having to restrict your spending. What it means is that you know where you stand, so you can move forward, it ex- explains everything. You know exactly what you're doing. No shame, no guilt. You know how you're paying your bills. You know how much money you have to spend, and everything else left over is shifted to either savings, retirement savings, or paying off debt, all of those things to help you create retirement So I'm gonna give you three things that's going to help you gain momentum on your journey so that you can better understand, number one, why you need a budget and other things to track besides just your spending, because tracking is important, but tracking what is going to support your momentum, your actions, and your progress is what you need. So the first thing is making sure you know your expenses as clear as you can Because once you know this, you are going to get a better estimated retirement target number. So that's the number you need to save to be able to retire comfortably. And if you're 10, 15 years away, the best way to figure out that number is by using what you're already doing today. As you get closer to retirement, three to five years, you start swapping these expenses to be truly retirement expenses and see how you're landing. But I can guarantee you, as somebody who's walked the walk these adjustments are very minimal and still within par. Again we're giving it control, we're giving it direction. So really understanding what you're spending your money on today, that most of that is not going to change just because you go into retirement. You have a few. But anybody that tells you otherwise, ask them if they've done this, okay? Because if they've done it and it was different for them, I'd love to hear. Okay, so number two is know your savings rate. What do I mean by that? How much are you saving for retirement according to how much you're making? This is where it's crucial to n- have a number that depends on you, what you're making, not what somebody else really thinks that you are making. So knowing that savings rate, it's going to be a percent. I've talked about this before. But if you are somebody who is over 40, closer to 50, you wanna be at least at double digits. I'm gonna now talk about that just a little bit more. But that is a really a good tracking piece. That's why I want you to know that, and that's another thing for progress. Number three, you need to know your debt desire. So if you think about expenses, your debt is an expense, and if you have it paid off before retirement, that's less demand of how much you need in retirement. Now, whether you take on debt in retirement is something different, it's a whole different discussion, but really what I want you to know or what I want you to decide is do you want your debt paid off before retirement or not? And this can look like, "Yes, I want all my high interest paid off," or, "I want everything paid off except for the house," or, "I want everything paid off." But that is your desire. That is your decision. That is what feels right to you. And knowing that helps guide you into measuring and creating your retirement number as well So once you have those three things, you're in a position to start making real adjustments with your money right now. But what I see individuals do is once they get this information excitement takes over and they try to do too much at once. So I want you to step back and I want you to pick one focus for at least 90 days, right? That's how you're going to see progress, know if it's working, and basically put it into place if you're getting paid bi-weekly six times so that you know you're making momentum forward before you add something else. It doesn't mean that you can't add something else. This was something I did on my journey. I picked one area, I really drilled into it, I got it working well, got it refined, then I jumped to another area and I did the same thing, and I repeated that over and over. So what is one thing you can do right now with my guidance in your ears? Again, we talked about it a little bit, but I want you to calculate your retirement savings percentage How do you do this? You take your total monthly retirement contributions, meaning how much are you saving into retirement accounts, either coming out of your paycheck or that you maybe manually do, but it's in a retirement account. Add those up and divide by your gross monthly pay. It's gonna give you a bunch of numbers. You know that decimal, move that decimal over to the right t- twice, if you forgot that. Sometimes you're looking at that and you're like, "I don't know what that means." Move to- move it over twice. The two numbers on the left side of that decimal is your percentage, and here's what I want you to think once you get that number. If you're under 10%, I challenge you to get to 10% within 90 days. Hopefully, you're not that far off from 10%, but if you are over 40, this should be a minimum goal so that you're saving hopefully enough for retirement. This should be going out somewhere. So that is your goal. Get it to there by 90, within 90 days, whatever that looks like, so that you can then move on to something else. Now, if you're like, "Okay, but I'm already at 10%," right? What I want you to do is we want to get to between 15 and 20. I say as much as you can because the more you're saving, the less you're living on. The more you're saving, it's compounding and growing, right? It's this double-sided effect. So if you're already at 10%, I want you to raise your retirement savings by 1% every quarter. So if you think about doing that for a year, that's 4%. 4% is a safe withdrawal rate, without getting into another dis- discussion. So every year that you do this, you are adding to a safe with- withdrawal rate. Right? Not exact, but it kinda gives you that understanding of I'm creating one more year by saving for 4% another year. All right. So what does success looks like? You've stayed the course for 90 days. You've tracked your savings percent every single month, right? So you know you're grow- growing up, going up, right? That is how you track for success. That is how you know that you're building your retirement savings. Inside my coaching, I have many strategies like this to approach from the three things I talked about in here, savings, debt, and expenses, and focusing on those every 90 days or s- quicker if they're small and you're making good progress. And we keep repeating that. So that's what I want you to do, is- Watch for your progress and then choose another area. So for today's episode, I want you to think about what is one area I can take action on in the next 90 days? How can I track this area for progress and improvement? We're talking about tracking, but we're track- talking about tracking the right things that show we are getting closer to retirement. Tracking these things consistently will reduce that retirement fear that has you awake at night. So again, what is one area you can take action on in the next 90 days, and how can you track this area for progress and improvement? I would love for you to head over to the Facebook community and share your answers. Kind of a, "This is what I'm focusing on," and once you say it out loud it happens, or you feel like it's a little more tangible and people might ask you, so you do it. But also, I would love for you, if you're like, "I'm not sure and I'm not sure what to do," come to the group for support, there's others, and they're also on the same journey as you, and I will also be active in answering questions and helping you find momentum forward. So if you're fo- focused on making retirement happen and you want to be surrounded by people who are on the same journey, come join the Facebook community. It's the Retirement Ready Hub, a community for Gen Xers. There's a link down in the show notes. You can also DM me for the link either on Instagram or Facebook, and I would love to get you started finding progress. Let's get rid of your retirement fear. We'll see you next week.
If you’ve ever laid awake at night wondering, “Will I have enough to retire?” or “Why does retirement make me so anxious?” you’re not alone.
Many people assume they’re afraid of retirement because they’re worried about running out of money. But after working with countless individuals preparing for retirement and experiencing this myself, I’ve found that the fear usually comes from somewhere else.
The truth is, you’re probably not afraid of retirement. You’re afraid of uncertainty.
When your future feels uncertain, your mind naturally fills in the blanks with worst-case scenarios. That uncertainty creates stress, hesitation, and the feeling that retirement is something to fear rather than look forward to.
The good news? You can reduce that fear. And it starts by creating clarity.
Retirement Fear Isn’t Really About Retirement
Most people think retirement anxiety means they’re behind financially. Sometimes that’s true, but more often it isn’t.
Many of the people I work with are paying their bills on time, contributing to their retirement accounts, and handling unexpected expenses without major financial crises.
From the outside, everything looks fine. Yet every time they think about retirement, they feel overwhelmed. Why? Because they don’t have anything concrete to measure their progress against. Their retirement exists as one giant question mark.
Without answers, fear grows.
The Missing Anchors That Create Confidence
Imagine trying to sail a boat without dropping an anchor. The waves push you wherever they want. That’s exactly what happens when you think about retirement without knowing your numbers. You have nothing to ground your decisions.
I call these financial anchors.
Without them, every article you read, every retirement calculator you try, and every headline about inflation or the stock market simply creates more anxiety. Your brain has nothing solid to hold onto.
Two anchors that matter most:
Understanding what your life costs today.
Understanding what your future retirement will require.
The first anchor makes the second one possible.
Why Budgeting Feels Unnecessary, Until Retirement
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is: “I don’t really need a budget. I’m doing okay.”
Maybe that’s you. You aren’t living paycheck to paycheck. You’re paying your bills. You’re saving for retirement. You aren’t constantly relying on credit cards. So budgeting feels unnecessary.
But here’s the shift that can change everything. A budget isn’t only for people struggling with money. A budget is a planning tool. Its purpose isn’t restriction. Its purpose is clarity.
You can’t build a retirement plan if you don’t know the cost of the life you’re trying to fund. That’s why understanding your current monthly expenses matters so much.
Why Tracking Your Expenses Matters
Many people rely on what I call the bank account method. Also, a method I have used as well.
You glance at your checking account. If there’s money left before payday, everything must be okay.
While that works for paying today’s bills, it doesn’t answer retirement questions like:
How much money will I need to retire?
Am I saving enough?
Could I increase my retirement contributions?
Could I pay off debt faster?
Without tracking your spending, you simply don’t know. When I began tracking my money, I discovered something surprising. I wasn’t overspending. I wasn’t irresponsible. But I couldn’t clearly see where small changes could free up more money for retirement savings.
Once I understood my numbers, increasing my retirement contributions became much easier than I expected.
There’s an old saying: What gets measured gets managed.
While it may sound like something from the corporate world, it’s incredibly true when planning for retirement. If you don’t measure your progress, you can’t improve it. Instead, retirement becomes a guessing game.
Tracking your financial progress gives you direction. Instead of hoping everything works out, you begin making intentional decisions. And intentional decisions reduce fear.
Three Numbers That Reduce Retirement Fear
If you’re wondering where to start, don’t try to track everything.
Focus on these three numbers.
1. Know Your Monthly Cost of Living
Before you calculate how much you’ll need for retirement, you need to know what your life actually costs today. Your current lifestyle becomes the foundation for estimating your retirement lifestyle.
Yes, some expenses will change after retirement. But if you’re still 10 to 15 years away, today’s spending provides one of the best estimates available. As retirement gets closer, you can refine those numbers.
2. Know Your Retirement Savings Rate
Many people know the dollar amount they’re contributing each month. Far fewer know their savings rate. Your savings rate is simply the percentage of your gross income you’re contributing toward retirement.
If you’re over 40, a good goal is reaching at least 10% if you aren’t there already. If you’ve already reached 10%, challenge yourself to increase it to 15%-20% over time gradually.
Even increasing your retirement savings by 1% each quarter creates tremendous long-term progress.
3. Decide Your Debt Goal Before Retirement
Debt isn’t just a monthly payment. It’s part of your retirement plan.
Ask yourself:
“What debt do I want to carry into retirement?”
There’s no universal right answer. Some people want every debt eliminated. Others are comfortable retiring with a mortgage. The important part is making the decision intentionally.
Once you know your goal, you can build your retirement strategy around it.
Don’t Try to Fix Everything at Once
One mistake I see repeatedly is trying to improve every financial area simultaneously.
Instead, choose one area to improve over the next 90 days.
Maybe that’s:
Increasing your retirement savings.
Understanding your monthly expenses.
Paying down high-interest debt.
Tracking your spending consistently.
Give yourself time to build the habit. Measure your progress. Refine your system. Then move on to the next improvement.
This is exactly how I built my own retirement plan. Small, consistent improvements became lasting financial systems.
Confidence Comes From Clarity
Retirement confidence isn’t built by reading another article or downloading another budgeting app. It’s built by understanding your numbers.
When you know what your life costs…
When you know how much you’re saving…
When you know where your debt fits into your retirement plan…
You stop guessing. You stop worrying. And you begin making decisions with confidence. That’s what reduces retirement fear.
Not because everything is perfect. But because you finally have something solid to stand on.
Your Next Step
If today’s episode helped you start thinking differently about retirement fear, the next step is getting clarity on your own numbers.
That’s exactly what we do inside Retirement Ready Coaching.
Inside, you'll get clear on exactly where you stand financially, map out what retirement actually looks like for you, and create a retirement strategy that fits your life. With accountability and support for 6 months, you will go from feeling overwhelmed and behind to confident, in control, and finally building a retirement you can count on.
Start with a free Retirement Blueprint Call, where we’ll uncover your biggest opportunities for progress and identify the next steps to move you closer to retirement with confidence.
